Waiting for a Placement

"I hate wait."

~Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

Inigo Montoya at the top of the Cliffs of Insanity

Application submitted, interview completed, letters sent, I now am waiting to be placed in Europe. Most likely, I will be in French speaking Europe, so either France, Belgium, or Switzerland. I will probably hear by mid-January simply because right now is the holiday season and everyone is in and out on vacations. But I am realizing, once again, just how impatient a person I am. Like Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride, I hate wait.

In the story, Inigo, an expert swordsman, is left at the tops of the Cliffs of Insanity and given very strict instructions. He is told to wait for the Man in Black to make his way to the top and then Inigo is to kill him so that the Man in Black cannot continue following their party. The Man in Black is in a very precarious position, clinging to the cliff and climbing by hand since the rope has been cut. It will probably take him hours to reach the top, by which time he will be weakened from the climb.  Inigo has no patience for that. "I hate wait," he says. Eventually, he offers to help the Man in Black reach the top of the cliffs so they can begin their fight right away.

Throughout the Bible, there are so many examples of God making people wait. Abraham waited for a son, Joseph spent some waiting years in prison, Joshua waited in the desert, even Esther spends years in beauty treatments, and Israel waited for years for their promised Messiah.  Clearly, waiting is something that God builds into a journey because it is an important step. I think God puts us in certain scenarios to see what we will do with our wait. Will we wait patiently like Joseph, gaining favor and recognition? Or will we be impatient like Abraham, doubting that God has a plan?  

Perhaps, like Inigo, we will even invite our troubles to join us. We rush our time of waiting convinced that if we just start doing something we will end our time of trial. And yet, the Man in Black ends up leaving Inigo unconscious in the dust with Inigo's mission uncompleted. I wonder how many times we miss out on blessings because we are convinced that waited time is wasted time. 

So, despite my impatient nature, I am trying to embrace my time of waiting. I am trying to see it as just another important step on my journey. I am praying for God to reveal to me what He would have me do with my wait.

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have we wait for it patiently." ~Romans 8:24-5

The Interview

"...a date which will live in infamy."

~ President Franklin D. Roosevelt

After turning in my application a few days early, (I submitted it on November 26, the Monday after Thanksgiving) I received a date for my interview: December 7th. There was some confusion over setting up the actual time for the interview because of working around my work hours. It was at last settled for 4pm that Friday and I left work early in order to make it home in time. In the event, I was extremely rushed to make it on time and stressed. I made it to my computer and had Skype up by about 4:05 and a couple minutes after that my interview began.

I can't even really remember all the questions that were asked but I remember just being nervous and trying to answer clearly. When an hour and a half later the interview was over, I was emotionally drained. All of the adrenaline that had me keyed up was leaking away leaving me feeling tired and doubtful. I took a hot shower and tried not to overthink my responses, tried not to worry, tried to just wait patiently. Fortunately, the staff coordinators didn't make me wait long. Four hours after the interview, I received an email inviting me to join IV Link staff. I am prospective staff until I am accepted for a placement, attend orientation in June, and raise my support.

In my journal the next day I wrote: It's such an awesome feeling to have a plan for the future, and even if that changes, just knowing that God has really blessed my efforts in pursuing ministry. It was also great to go to choir practice the morning after and be able to tell people what was happening.  My friend also had her interview the same day as me and was accepted on staff too. What an amazing blessing to be able to take this journey together! InterVarsity staff, here we come!

The Application

"He has shown you, O Ruth, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God."  ~Micah 6:8, with edits by me

Today I received the full IV application. I had two months to complete 39 short answer essay questions as well as collect references. I admit that it was a little overwhelming even though I knew to expect something intense. My friend was also starting this application process and we were able to Skype and talk about the application and it really helped me to know that I wasn't alone.

The questions I found most challenging were ones where I had to write an outline for a talk. It was hard to come up with something when I couldn't clearly see the audience in my head. But I soldiered on.  Eventually, I found that breaking the application into manageable chunks, such as a question a day was a much easier way to complete it. All together, it was overwhelming, but just one question each day was do-able and gave me a sense of satisfaction once I had completed it. This also took away my stress about completing the application and allowed me to focus on answering each question as clearly and honestly as I could. 

Filling out the application was a great time of learning. 

God is with us even in the small things. There is no way I would've completed the application without Him. He helped me with answers I didn't think I even knew and He gave me the strength to take each day one at a time.

The need for scripture. My quiet time each morning was filled with scripture that directly applied to the question I had to answer that day. I then was able to use the passage to help me answer the question. God was giving me my daily bread just when I needed it.

The importance of going to God first for answers. I avoided posting on social media about the ups and downs of the application process. This forced me to share my struggles with God before anyone else. God really rewarded me in this by comforting me in a way that posts on my status couldn't.  He gave me His peace and confidence to keep going even when it was hard. And he helped me with the words to say even as He did with Moses.

Throughout the application, I was thankful for SO many blessings in my life.

1. A supportive family.

2. A Bible study group that prayed for and encouraged me.

3. A Christian upbringing.

4. So many examples of God's faithfulness in my life that I was forced to reflect on.

5. Above all, the grace that God so willingly held out to me through His son, Jesus.

One night, one of the leader's at small group said to me as I was talking about the application, "Wow, at least you know you're going to be working with a group of awesome people since they all had to go through this same process!" And somehow that small statement was just the perfect word of encouragement to me.

Beginning the Adventure

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.”
~Bilbo in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring

Frodo and Sam leaving the Shire at the start of their adventure.

The story of the Lord of the Rings actually begins before the first page of the book because by page one, Bilbo already has the ring-taken from Gollum many years before. In a similar vein, my story with InterVarsity Link begins long before this post. 

I struggled mostly with "the calling" part of knowing whether or not to pursue missions. I couldn't honestly say I had ever had a "burning bush" moment as when God called Moses. I also didn't have a "Jonah" who came to me with a message from the Lord (complete with a song à la Veggie Tales.) I started combing my Bible for examples of other types of calling.  I started to realize that God views a call in a different way from us. His timing is completely different from ours. 

For instance, David was annointed years and years before he ever became king. To us, it is so confusing that even though he was destined to be the greatest king Israel ever had, he had to spend years running from his life living off the charity of others to escape the wrath of King Saul. I mean, come on, God. How come this had to be part of the plan?  How did David not being on the throne accomplish his calling of being king?

This led me to several conclusions:

The journey is just as important as the destination. This may seem kind of like a cheesy cliché but God often puts us through situations because it helps us to grow. He doesn't want us to get out of it as fast as possible, He wants us to learn to rely on him no matter what the circumstances.

God can be preparing you for a calling for years instead of calling you in a flash of light. My own calling is much more like a lifetime of preparation in little ways and big than a burning bush in the desert. For instance, He gave me a European heritage, a gift for languages, a love for travel, a desire to serve, and a heart for Europe. Separately they are all good, together the meld perfectly into ministry overseas. 

This day was the day I started, like Frodo, going out my door. I had a phone interview with an InterVarsity Link staff coordinator regarding my interest in pursuing staff in French-speaking Europe. Little did I know where I was going to be swept off to!